The Do Over
Has your Happy New Year gone sour as your resolutions have become a thing of the past?
Maybe you are feeling low because you didn’t even go to the trouble because you didn’t want to face the disappointment of giving up on the same old goals once again. The ever present pressure to make resolutions to become the “new and improved” you can be down right depressing.
If by some great miracle you have not thrown in the towel yet, the process of getting there isn’t looking pretty. With all of that reality staring us in the face, sometimes it just feels easier to take a pass. Our status quo seems pretty good. The fear of failure keeps us from even trying. We want to save face.
Add in that as moms, we think if our children see our struggles and failures they will think less of us. The truth is just the opposite and if we do not reverse our mindset, we are going to miss out on learning one of the most valuable lessons in life and our kids will miss it too. Sometimes in our search for perfection we miss the beauty of the process. We believe that complete success is the only valuable commodity.
I am here to tell you that there is something more powerful than getting something right the first time.
Starting over, backing up and going at something from a different direction, making course corrections, adjusting our thoughts, our actions and our attitudes, are all critical life skills. What makes the do-over so powerful? It always works.
The do-over helps us to succeed and it also helps us when we fail. The pretense of perfection is a trap that snares us in many different ways. It sometimes causes us to fail because we are afraid to even start. Or we may quit because we thought it was going to be easy but the journey is hard. It can even cause us to not recognize success when it actually happens because it doesn’t look like we thought it would.
Practicing the do-over in our homes is critical so that our children see its power.
Day after day, year after year, when our children get a front row seat to our journey to becoming better versions of ourselves, they will learn to do the same. We live in a world where no one takes responsibility for his or her shortcomings. Taking ownership of our actions, admitting our mistakes and apologizing for our offense is the opposite of what we have come to expect.
However, saying we are sorry, asking for a second chance, admitting that we blew it, offers grace and acceptance ourselves and we are likely to receive it back from others. So give it a try.
Start today by asking for and offering do-overs.
Lose your temper? Apologize and ask for a second chance.
Your preschooler is upset because they can’t get something right?
Tell them that learning is fun and to keep trying. I
s your tween talking sass? Tell them you understand that they hear others talk that way so it comes out on accident and offer them the chance say it again.
Here are a few do-over phrases that you can put into practice in your home:
• “That was my fault.”
• “Let me try that again.”
• “I should have said that better.”
• “Let me fix it.”
• “I am sorry.”
• “I’ll do better next time.”
• “I am going to keep at it until I get it right.”
• “Thank you for giving me a second chance.”
• “May I have a do-over?”
Goals and resolutions are great things. Self-improvement is necessary. Just remember that failure is not the end. If we practice the do-over failure is just a part of the journey to success.